(Above me as a new mum with my first born)
When I held my first baby in my arms. I was really happy. I was going to be the best mum in THE WORLD!
We would create fantastic family paintings together. We would cook and eat healthy nutritious food together. We wouldn’t play with plastic toys! Oh no we would probably make wooden toys together! We would always be laughing and I would be the perfect mum!
It is so easy being a good parent until you have kids.
Actually it’s quite easy being a good parent when your children are babies who don’t move.
I used to see those mothers who judge other mums. I used to be that mum!
The ones with precious new born bundles in supermarkets who look scornfully at the crazy looking mums. Those ones who are waving their fingers and shouting at their poor innocent kids in the snack aisle “Put those pom pom crisps down now or I WILL walk out and leave you here! I WILL !”
What a horrible thing to say! But those words or words like it have come out of my own mouth.
Now I smile knowingly at the mums I see doing this and get out of their way.
Something happens almost over night where you change into your own mum. Things your mother said to you and you swear you will never say come out of your mouth “you want biscuits? biscuits? I’ll give you bloody biscuits, I’ll biscuit you! (?)
It stops being fun as a parent when you have to start disciplining them. First it’s easy things like not too many crisps but that soon becomes not buying expensive presents and not having rats!
When my eldest was six years old she decided she wanted a pet rat and she wanted to keep it in her bedroom. I said no way. This lead to the mother of all tantrums which lasted all night and continued to the next day.
Sat on the toilet the next morning a note was pushed under the door which said, I kid you not,
“I HATE YOU. YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE”.
She was 6 years old!! 6!!
The odd time I do try to discipline them now they still tell me that I am the worst mum in the world!
This hatred from my own children used to really upset me. How dare they? I do it for them! It’s all because I love them! Etc etc.
Then I remembered the times I hated my mum. The time she wouldn’t let me go parasailing in Greece at the age of 12 and I didn’t talk to her for the rest of our holiday. The times I made her cry because she annoyed me SO much. That for most of my childhood she was the worst mum in the world (to me) but how I secretly always knew that it was her love for me that made her strict and that sometimes it helped me out of sticky situations. “I would love to go to Manchester with those boys we’ve just met but my boring mum says I can’t go”.
Now of course mum and I laugh about the above and I know one day my kids and I will laugh about the day I ruined their life too.
Until then I wear the “worst parent in the world” badge with pride and don’t judge the shouty mums, the strict mums or any parent. We are all just doing our best. One day our kids will realise that!